She Wasn't a Hero
by RaichelOlin
Summary: Was Silena Beauregard really the hero that everyone made her out to be? Clarisse La Rue, the girl who once called her friend eventually realizes that the answer is no. Contains mentions of abuse.


**She Wasn't a Hero**

No matter how many times I say that word in reference to her, she's not.

No matter how many lives she saved, mine included, their not as important as the number of lives she took. Not directly, or course, she was never that good of a fighter. Her spying however, sent many to their graves.

It killed her boyfriend, it killed her siblings, my siblings as well, and it almost killed us all.

At least she brought about her own death by her espionage, by her own deceptive ways, like a spider felled by its own web.

She had seemed so sweet, so harmless, wouldn't kill a fly. But demigods aren't flies. She'd been an outgoing girl who's flirty and affectionate nature had charmed many into liking her.

When I'd first met her, I found her annoying and superficial. But eventually I let my guard down, and she worked her way into my life. Like a parasite, feeding off of my loyalty. She'd been a parasite to Beckendorf too, and he'd been too blinded by his love to see it. We all had been.

Sure the manipulative jerk called Silena had wanted to stop spying after falling head over heels for Beck. So she claimed. That was of course until Luke threatened to tell everyone what she was hiding, her double agentship. Being the selfish bastard that she was, she agreed to keep spying. Guess her reputation was worth more than the lives of countless demigods.

Yet we "her friends", hailed her as a hero for being able to rebel against Kronos on the very end. Something that conveniently killed her so we couldn't hate her for her traitorous reveal.

And it worked, hardly anyone despised her. Instead we praised her for courage, when she was little more than a coward. Thanks in part to me.

At first I didn't despise her, in fact I felt guilty for her death. But Why should I have, sure she'd died trying to get my cabin to fight, but I never suggested that she steal my armour, pretend to be me, and attempt to fight a monster only a child of ares could kill. I hadn't even known that she had came back to camp. That's right she didn't even try talking to me. Instead going straight for the cabin mates deception phase. Using her witchy powers of persuasion.

She brought about her own death, her deceptions continuing until her very last breath.

Each and every day since then I hate her more, the bitterness grows and grows, because I know she's in Elysium. Few realize how little she deserves it.

Charlie Beckendorf will never despise the love of his life, even if it was her web of lies that ended his days. He loved her too much for his own good, I know he still does.

Chris, my boyfriend, is sympathetic to my point, but also for Silena. He too was a traitor, but at least he was honest about it, Beauregard never was. But he cares too much for hate.

Her siblings, the Aphrodite Cabin, will never despise their sister, despite Drew's explanations. As much of a jerk that Tanaka can be, she's not wrong. But they're too biased, or brainwashed, too care.

But none of them did what I did, I'm certain of this. I trusted her with my deepest and darkest secret. She was the first person I told about what my father did to me. Not Hedge, not Chris, not freaking Percy or Annabeth, or my closest sibling, but Silena f-ing Beauregard. I trusted her.

I was so wrong. She took advantage of a severely abused fifteen year old and exploited our friendship for personal gain. Coach Hedge said that and I couldn't help but think that he was right. He is, after all, the only person I love who's never betrayed me.

I may be a little selfish, but aren't we all. I'm no angel, but Silena was far from it. In fact her greatest deception was making us all think a demon was an angel.

I loved her as a friend but not completely. Just like I cannot hate her completely.

She was nice to me, but now as the days and years pass, those memories fade. But what remains becomes more and more tarnished and bittered.

Rest in peace you jerk. I hope you spend the rest of your eternity pondering your evils. Slowly realizing that your field of punishments is paradise.


End file.
